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jEnna
16o988
just someone who wants a better life.
:D
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Sunday, December 06, 2009
another ranting.
no thanks to the exam coming tml. and kudos to those people who made me think my life sucks to the core.
i wonder if is it me being pessimistic or that people around me just seems so ... ... ... lucky?
there are many things which i dont have answers to. being me, with those matters, i can only live my life as it is. i can say that no one exactly know what i am going through, or how my life have been so fucked up till now. you might find that i am complaining. yes, maybe i am.
every other time when i hear other people complaining about parents not giving them enough money, no time to do this and that, why people treat them like that etc, sometimes i feel like giving them a piece of my mind. Your life may be bad. BUT you are just ignoring the fact that someone close to you is not, and that to me balances up everything.
there are also other times when you hear people say how well you perform in this, how you get this and that, i envy them, and wished to be like them too.
then there were those times where you just feel that everyone forgets about you. you see their friends putting in so much effort, trying their best to come up with something memorable for you and when it's your turn, it's just like a go-and -forget thing. and i wonder, how many actually remembers? i just dont get it. am i so different from the others that i dont render any kind of effort? or do all of you take me for granted thinking that yes, i wont mind, or thinking that since it is already over and done with, there is no need to bother anymore?
MAYBE i sld take another chance. MAYBE. and i shall see next year AGAIN. will i continue to be disappointed? i highly think so.
seriously, i have no idea what the future will bring for me and i do not want to know. though i wished for a change, i am not sure if that will happen for me. and it is times like this is where i am only able to express how i feel in words, not spoken. consider me to be someone who doesnt know how to look at the bright side of life. i may live everyday as it is, or probably be someone who jokes and appear okay/nice to everything. or mayb you think you know me very well but you might be wrong.
all these might sound confusing but they are all my thoughts. and probably no one will ever know.
till then...
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